The Road to Success
All through life we are presented with decisions which we have to make. Sometimes we know exactly what must be done, but sometimes, especially when the decision effects others, we struggle with making the right choice as we flit backwards and forwards between what we want and what is best for others. As a result, we often fall into the trap of asking others for their opinion and more often than not this only serves to make matters worse.
The reason being is that everyone can only give you their opinion, their perspective and what they would do if they were you. But they are not you! Only you are you. There are over seven billion people on the planet and ONLY YOU ARE YOU. Only you have walked your individual path. Only you have experienced the unique range of experiences that you have experienced in the bespoke way that you have perceived them, standing in your own two shoes. So how can anyone else advise you on what you need to do in any given situation? That is where a Life Coach comes in.
You do not ask the Life Coach for their advice, their opinion or their perspective. The Life Coach asks you! A Coach asks you to consider your opinion, your beliefs, your perspectives and allows you time and headspace to come to your own decisions. Decisions that will work for you. Decisions that are yours. Decisions that you know you can follow through because they aren’t from a book...they are from you. They are not based on research carried out on other people, they are based on research you carry out by reflecting on your own personal set of circumstances and how you choose to move forward from where you are.
It may feel like a lonely road to travel on your own but the Life Coach is there to support you, guide you, focus you, encourage you, motivate you and ultimately see you through to your chosen goal. Bringing clarity and harmony to your walk along the way. I often use the analogy of a driver, travelling along the road at night with a car full of sleeping passengers. If you are a driver and have experienced this then I need say no more. If you aren’t a driver, then let me explain.
You are in your own lovely car driving down the motorway at night. Your car is full of passengers who were all wide awake, taking and laughing when it was day time, but as it turned to night and grew dark, one by one they each fell asleep. Some of the passengers are family members, some are friends. The passenger in the front seat is there, but needs to be nudged a few times to make sure she does not doze off too. (As a driver, you need at least one passenger to stay awake with you - otherwise, driving alone is lonely, and the risk of you dozing off is too unthinkable). But, it's often the case that the passenger agrees to keep you company and stay up, but a few minutes later they have fallen asleep, snoring loudly just to top it off!
Now you are annoyed and frustrated. Not only are all other travellers asleep but you also have to listen to this continuous mind numbing sound of snoring! So what do you? Pull over and get some sleep too? Pay to stay in a B&B so that you get some comfort until morning? Wake everyone up and risk pee'ing them off? But so what - if you have to stay awake why shouldn’t everyone else? Or, do you buckle down, and use the time to think, vision and focus on reaching your destination as quickly, safely and as effectively and efficiently as you can?
It's at these times, when you are travelling 'alone', that you are most likely to lose focus or get distracted. It's then that mistakes happen, or you miss the exit and end up somewhere you no longer recognise. Such distractions cost time, waste energy and frustrate you further. Too great a loss in focus, and you are at risk of something more tragic - a crash that hurts all those in the car, maybe others in other vehicles and their loved ones too. Most worryingly of all, it could cause death and loss.
However, some preparation makes all the difference. If you choose to map your destination, select from the various possible routes to find one that suits you, ensure you are rested before you set out, remain calm, stay vigilant and follow your predetermined route, all should be well. Barring the completely unexpected, you travel smoothly and arrive safe and sound. The destination is not visible at the beginning, but a distant goal. But, by staying on the right road, and having the presence of mind to adjust to changes that may be required, you achieve what you had planned to achieve - getting to where to wanted to get to.
As a Life Coach, I find the driving metaphor very useful. I help people focus and plan how they wish to travel, what they need to complete their journey and where they wish to arrive. Just like ‘cat’s eyes’ in the road guide a driver when the dark sets in, a Life Coach sets small, regular markers or stepping stones to help you along what may sometimes feel like a long and lonely road. Like the voice on the radio of the car, a Life Coach keeps you company remotely. Not having any personal attachment to you, the Coach is able to stay objective and neutral when speaking to you. Saying things to cheer you up when you are down, being there for you whenever you choose to switch it on, and turning off when you no longer require the service.
So, just as a driver continues on the journey, and as if by magic as soon as the destination is near, everyone wakes up full of vigour, laughter and smiles! They thank you for doing so well. You feel satisfied, but you are shattered. You have done just what was needed, and can celebrate your success. How much greater might the celebration be, when you achieve what seems impossible in the journey of life, and hit successes that some people only ever dream of? Most of all, a Life Coach empowers you to overcome those personal inhibitions and obstructions, that get in the way of being what you want to be.
Myrah Duckworth
Life Coach, Reiki Healer, Author, Motivational Speaker, Inspirational Quote Writer and Teacher
Myrah has many attributes and qualities, covering a host of areas. She specialises in education, special needs and disabilities, challenging behaviour, confidence, self esteem, issues relating to women, children, young people and ethnic minorities. Myrah make use of spirituality where this feels appropriate and helpful. She runs regular sessions at Solihull Well Being Clinic
